A Message from my Inner Child

     Last night I couldn’t sleep and needed to do some inner work to settle down. Did you know that we all have inner child(ren) within us? No, if I cut myself open no little child would be found. But all our experiences, thoughts, and feelings have been recorded within a part of ourselves and the part that holds the memories from long ago is the inner child. Charles Whitfield (Healing the Child Within, Health Communications, 1987) defines inner child as “that part of each of us which is ultimately alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled; it is our real self -- who we truly are.”

     I have been doing inner child work for many, many years—connecting to younger parts of myself at many different ages. In fact, in order to have lost the thirty pounds

STALLED!!

     They (the books and other people following the protocol) said it would happen but I thought it’s not going to happen to me!  Well, it has! Got on the scale this morning and it was exactly the same as yesterday. :-( I told myself to not get discouraged but I really like seeing the numbers go down every single day. It is almost addictive—I can’t wait to get on the scale each morning. Now I am not complaining about my weight loss, which is really significant for me – 8.8 pounds – and I am only 7 pounds away from my goal weight, which totally amazes me. I am just kvetching a little bit!
     I have to be very careful, though, because my head has some crazy thinking going on. 

Thoughts and Feelings at the Halfway Point

Several years ago when my naturopathic doctor suggested I go on the HCG protocol, I told him I did it as a teen and it doesn’t work for me. I am so glad I decided to take the plunge and do it again. Truthfully, the first two days of gorging have probably been the most difficult days for me. I had looked forward to eating all the things I normally don’t allow myself, but instead of enjoyment, I felt sick to my stomach. I use the homeopathic HCG (HHCG) and it is easy, inexpensive and very user friendly. I thought I’d be hungry and dreaded eating only 500 calories a day, but I have not experienced any hunger. Mouth hunger, yes, when I wanted to chew something…so on those days I made sure to choose raw fennel, celery or cabbage as my vegetable so I could experience lots of chewing.

My HCG Journey (up to day 12)

 The first two days of taking the drops are loading or gorging days and it is required to eat as much high fat food as possible. Simeons’ manuscript states: “One cannot keep a patient comfortably on 500 calories unless his normal fat reserves are reasonably well stocked. It is for this reason that every case…must eat to capacity of the most fattening food they can get down until they have had their third injection.” You’d think I would have loved this part…..at first it was fun, but the fun didn’t last!

I decided on Sunday July 11^th to begin the next day, went shopping and read labels for the highest fat food I could find. It was a new kind of adventure -- reading labels and discarding those foods that didn’t qualify as high fat. Can you imagine, Oreos didn’t have enough fat for me to consider purchasing them!

My complete food/weight log is posted separately, in case you want to see it. Basically, for two days I ate and I ate ....

My History with Weight and Dieting

I have been battling weight since I was quite young (at age eleven my parents took me to a doctor to lose weight).  As a teen and young adult, my weight fluctuated between 125 and 150. At 150 I felt depressed and had lots of self-judgment and self-hatred. At 125 I felt wonderful, but the pounds easily and quickly came back on.

In addition to dieting, I used exercise in my quest to eliminate excess weight. As a young parent who played racquetball twice a week and constantly battled weight, I remember thinking to myself, I wonder how I’d manage my weight if I weren’t this active? Although heavy for almost my entire life, I have been very health conscious and am very grateful to be in excellent health. I like healthy eating – organic foods, lots of vegetables – yet I continued to carry excess weight.

Actively involved in 12 Step recovery for over twenty years,

About HCG

HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) is a hormone produced during pregnancy. For more than twenty years, Dr. A.T. W. Simeons studied the effects of using HCG to treat obesity and discovered that small regular doses of HCG caused the body to release abnormal fat while on a very low calorie diet (500 calories a day). And, those he treated reported not feeling hungry! HCG can be administered through injections or taken sublingually. The goals of the HCG protocol are to lose weight, reset/increase metabolism, and maintain the weight loss. Kevin Trudeau came out with his book in 2007, The Weight Loss Cure “They” Don't Want You to Know About, based on Dr. Simeons work.

Introduction

I have been answering lots of questions and discussing “What is Meryl doing now?” in regards to my weight. Therefore, I decided to start a blog to explain what I am doing and keep anyone interested up-to-date on how I am doing. I am a little nervous (not much) about being so transparent, especially since my weight and my food used to be one of my big secrets. Well, I guess my weight was no secret, I carried it around on my body for all to see, but I had a lot of shame about it. Now that I am in a more normal sized body, I am ready to venture forth sharing myself here. I started the HCG protocol one week ago and I am down almost nine pounds (8.8). For me, this is great news....on other diets and food plans if I lose one or two pounds a week I am happy. I have another ten days or more to go, and my goal is 15 pounds.